Before someone thinks I'm going into depression, these are words written over 6 months at various points. I am sane and healthy, please don't ask 911 to track my IP address yet.
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Spare moments are hard to come byYou eclipse my life so completelyI don't feel alone even when I amI'm so sick of my own thoughtsLosing my centreUnable to sleep, too wired upI can't seem to get away from myselfI can't seem to really like myselfI can't seem to separate my sense of selfFrom youFrom my lifeFrom all the people in itFrom all these expectationsAnd all these restrictionsFrom the people in the pastGod knows its self imposedLiving the dream?Sure doesn't feel like itSometimes when I feel happyI wonder if this is what happy felt likeBecause I forget who I used to beAnd how happy used to feel back thenThey tell me im a different girlQuieter, wiser, with a sadness in her eyesThey tell me melancholy runs through my veins nowYet i could never be sad around you.I forget what I was likeMaybe I never knew myself at allJust reflections of how people saw meIs that why the mirror you hold scares me?Time is not linear to meIt feels like I've filled a lifetime in a yearLike I'll never have enough to do it allAnd then the emptier daysWhen it feels like I'm wasting my lifeAnd all the things I could never processUnravels in my head with mind numbing speedI'm driving down the roadJust beginning to make sense of it allTime races ahead of meShe turns around and laughs at meFree, resplendent, God how I wish I could be that free.