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Good things are happening. People who deserve chances are getting them. More than one friend is getting a internship/job they are so right for/degree/bloke/girl/selection in a student conference/a chance to go for an all expenses 1 week trip to Sydney (the last two are my sweeet lil sister) that they so deserve. I am also grateful that my grandfather finally passed away. He was on and off life support for almost 5 months. As for me, several people who I had written off from my lives for fear of one sidedness are returning with a happy but confusing intensity - especially those born under water signs.As for me, I join a new workplace this Friday (or next Monday). After a month and a half of:- learning Reiki, - finally lining my drawers with fresh paper and spring cleaning the closet- re arranging my room after what seemed like a year, - spending hours on a Rubik's cube (still haven't cracked it), - watching an entire season of (a) Angel (b) How I met your Mother (c) Rita Rocks in a day each- developing a business website for one friend, - developing a personal website for another friend- developing an advertising campaign including images and banners and online presence samples and a website as part of one friend's college assignment for his post grad degree in Marketing - so much fun, his sample client was BMW! We did a whole The 7 Ultimate Driving Sins for the Ultimate Driving Machine theme,- pseudo fake dates (both of us knew nothing could ever actually happen - it was very random, but as a result, I did get to watch some movies I ordinarily wouldn't have gone for and have a lovely debate on pro-life and pro-euthanasia, so it was worth it)- learning DreamWeaver and PhotoShop and the awesomess of Macs (my new year gift to myself in 2010, if I can stay off the daily $3 I waste on coffee everyday and make dinner at home every night)- read all the piled up Time and PC Authority issues on my bedside table- actually enjoying cooking without thinking how much time the stupid onions are taking to be "translucently golden brown", - getting a photograph with Xena at a costume party- learning how to write a contract by Australian Law- thinking of 3 separate novel ideas which someday I shall try- going to watch bands I've never met, then pubhopping and spending till dawn with them (I felt like a groupie for a night - NOT in that way!)- picking out the guitar I will buy in July (Ashton classical nylon string, in a dark brown and a hard case so I can do the junk sticker thing without ruining the actual guitar)- talking to my favouritest Aunt for hours after months!,- undergoing a strange personal grooming ritual that I'd rather not talk about- finally finishing that crappy SCJP book (I still don't have the guts to take the exam)The only stress was deciding what I was going to do next, and I was alternating between an MBA and this job when I realised I really wasn't ready to go back to school - at least not to business school. Right now I want to work. I want to push myself, see what I'm capable of. Maybe in another 5 years I'll go back to school. Maybe not at all. Maybe to journalism school instead. I don't know. And for once, I'm fine with not having the answers. So after 45 days of waking up at noon, lolling around the house in PJs and reading books by the heater, I finally am going to don a business suit again as of Friday (or Monday). Then its going to be 14 hour workdays, no time for self apart from evening runs when I can pack them in, Saturday mornings spent in front of a gorgeous iMac *sigh* in a class full of graphic designers who can give me an inferiority complex with their color schemes alone, Saturday evenings being my (hopefully) sole social saviour, Sunday mornings maybe sleeping in, remnant of weekend spent catching up on housework, returning calls untakeable during the week, loads of calls to India, paying bills, bankwork and grocery shopping. And you know what? I can't wait to get back to the grind so I can bitch about it. :)Thursday, May 7, 2009
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I have a feeling the delivery guy fell over his moped while delivering this. Or he was really really hungry.Lesson of the day : Never pay the pizza guy till you have checked the contents of the boxes.Saturday, May 2, 2009
be my diary on nights at nameless beaches
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my friend on days in sleepy trains
be my partner in crime when i flirt for a free coffee
and i will never allow you to want for anyone else
i would never invade your heart
never step in till you allowed me to
i would be the ice to all you keep within
the cool touch to your sweat laden skin
if you keep me aglow when the world wears me out
forcing me into cynical detachment
come up behind me on a rainy day
hold me tight in a soft knit oversized sweater
when the water lashes across the windows
we'll drive into the country with the roof down
i will hold you down till you can breathe free
i will keep you safe when you need shelter from yourself
can you give yourself up to me, without giving up what you are?
can you continue to want me but never desperately need me?
will you walk away the moment desperation overtakes desire?
be my lover when i'm in leather
be my prince when i'm in silk
be the only one who can make me feel better
when my head's over the sink
i'll be your protectress honey
in the privacy of our home
i'll be your seductress darling
when you need to be shown
just how much of a man you'll always be
and how much of a woman you have made me
don't speak too much, i don't care for small talk
don't ask to be impressed with the wry humor of a forced iconoclast
can we be together for hours just reading and working?
yet will you tell me that you hate stray wisps in a hairbrush?
will you let me cherish the knowledge of your favorite tea?
would you let me go to new york for a year of reinvention?
would you remember to send only dark chocolate on valentine's?
would you understand that i need to look away from you sometimes?
would you trust that i would never look elsewhere?
would you realize that you should give yourself that privilege too?
stay close enough so i know you can suffocate me
stay far enough that i can breathe
either way i will run from you
because i will never lose myself to you.
not before you lose yourself to me.
Edit:
Trigger Point : the more i understand, the less i know.