As though something's amiss.

As I sat through my belated-by-a-day birthday cake cutting and the opening of a lovely package, it just seemed..plugged into a wall.

I shooed away the thought as my bored brain trying to get above itself. Then again today, the same feeling. On the tram, the doleful tune of  "all around me are familiar places, worn out places, worn out places.." wickedly convoluted all cheer that a light drizzle accompanied by the welcome raw earth small and the invigorating almost too strong morning breeze can bring.

As I reached work, the predictability of everyone's oh-so-human behaviour to a simple shuffling of desks - which I was in-charge of purely cause the officiating manager didn't want nowt to do with it and left me with a desk layout, a list of 5 names too many and a "I want a window seat" - was making me want to slap someone, anyone..everyone preferably.

Everyone wanted a window seat or did not want to be near the kitchenette or wanted to be seated with so and so making me feel like I was in one of those giant "If A is sitting opposite C and B and D will not sit together and E must be seated to the right of A in which order must they be seated?" type puzzles. I felt like a school teacher with kids who whined about "But he talks so loudly on the phone" or "How come he's sitting there?" I felt like I desperately needed a soundproof room.

No PMS, not too much sugar or junk food lately, no argument, nothing. I was - quite inexplicably - at snapping point. Usually, I can patiently dole out the quiet tactful explanations when I want to make it clear that I am not going to be bullied by colleagues. Usually, I can multitask. Even if the extension rings just as my bash shell decides to throw 5 unfathomable error logs at me and I'm in the middle of a ppt to be delivered in the next 3 hours, I can be civil, even nice to the person on the other end. I almost enjoy the brief adrenaline spells (yes yes I realise what a nerd this makes me sound like).

Today, it was driving me up the wall. One bloke came up to me and told me the LAN switch I had just given him wasn't working. When, exasperated after 3 minutes of explaining which port goes where, I walked over to his desk 2 aisles away and he asks me, "by the way, is there a power adapter for this or is it battery run?"

By lunchtime, I was clearly going to burst. I was feeling physically sick and was wondering if there might be some truth in the hormonal nonsense my GP had tried to sell me during my last visit. I was dodging the line between assertive and aggressive.

Next thing I know, the deputy comes up to me and says, only half-jokingly I suspect, "Well you were in charge of this, Adrian (the boss he "deputes" for, not his real name)  has been on leave half a day and look at this. I blame you."

I had had it.

I replied - and God help me I am not lying -  I have no freaking idea where this came from and  I do not make a habit of playing with authority - " Well, it teaches you, Mr. Deputy,  never to apply for Adrian's job unless you're damn sure you can handle it."

Unfortunately, or fortunately, I don't think he got it.

Next I sent a completely rude answer to a text message from my Mom. Thankfully, I convinced her 3 hours later that it was due to that fact that the message was ill timed enough to come right in the middle of a meeting. She reluctantly bought it. She's a Mom though, I think she might just have just decided to be nice to me by pretending.

Things got a bit better when come 3.30pm (the time of the desk shift) the entire office turned into a giant pyjama party with people shoving keyboards, staplers and all sundry back and forth. Someone put on some music and soon the beats of "This heartache" with the fumes of a very acerbic smelling and yet scarily addictive surface cleaner filling the air. Beers were passed all around, on the house, and it all ended not on an altogether awful note.