We're packing up.
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My mom to pursue a life down under. My sister to start college. Me to start work. The lease is signed. The flights are booked. The trunks are being hauled out and filled with first date restaurant bills, books bought for dirt cheap prices off roadsides, first year engineering graphics drafters that took us a month and four ruined A3 sheets to learn how to use, boiler suits reminiscent of spending hours grinding a metal piece into a symmetrical hexagon with the metallic smell of fine metal dust and visions of the sweaty guy opposite you making you hope you don't look as disgustingly filthy!
Last night i was accused of having lost my passion for life. For a girl like me, that's a very strong accusation to make because its passion and not plans that make me live from day to day. I'm still wondering what happened. Why i suddenly find it difficult to make conversations with friends who could once chat with me for hours, why i end up thinking she's already told me this story the moment one of my friends start up a flashback narrative. still, i listen (its a cardinal rule amongst girlfriends - you always listen, no matter how repetitive!).
Have i become uninteresting? Have all my friends(seems unlikely!)? Has the world disinterested me?
God knows. For now, i pack, i move and i work. And then someday, I think why the girl who'd dress up anytime for a good time suddenly feels a shiver of apprehension when dusk falls, or when the night demands too much energy from me.
But to a special friend, I'll say but this. Give me some time. I promise, I'll get back to what I was. I just need to find a way to balance my old self with a new found shadow of reality that has crept over my heart.
It seems to me i'm just passing through.
< Remember when we first met
And everything was still a bet
In love's game
You would call; I'd call you back
And then I'd leave
A message
On your answering machine
I think that you came too soon
You're the honey and the moon
But right nowEverything is turning blue,
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom,
Where no one lives>